To My People, Thank You
Today I became a doctor and I am SO proud of myself - all that I survived, created, achieved, and let go in a journey that took so much from me. Without my people, I would not have made it to my final graduation stage. To my people, I love you:
No person is an island, and I come from a vast expanse of loved ones who made me possible. Thank you to everyone, named and unnamed, who encouraged and loved me along this process. I am profoundly grateful to the universe and the ancestors for guiding me along the way. It is with inherited genius, strength, and curiosity that I found my way to this final graduation stage. To my grandfather Kaleem, thank you for visiting me in my dreams and holding me before you left us. To my Auntie Sharon Vanita Azeez, I know you are cheering me on from the ancestral plane and still encouraging me to wear more lipstick. You both left this Earth too soon, but I know you are still with me alongside our many ancestors who bore our name.
To Brooklyn, Buffalo, Atlanta, Augusta, Syracuse, and El Paso. These are the places where I planted myself and grew into my own person, watered my courage with the warmth of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color’s survival, and learned to stand tall. To the Lenape, the Seneca Nation and the Onondaga Nation of the Haudenosaunee, the Tigua Pueblo peoples, the Lokono Amerindians, the Taínos, and the Cherokee and Muscogee Creek peoples - thank you for the vibrant and painful work that framed where I called home and the land my people come from. It is through your stories, resistance, and guidance that I learned what it means to do this work with ethics and integrity.
To my mother and father, Shireen and Edward. When I gaze into a mirror, it’s your faces I see smiling back. It is with your Guyanese lilt and wisdom that my voice cuts across the deficits, and the sinews of your weathered hands that grasp the pen as I wrote for you, and for me. Thank you for stretching your bodies across the ocean so that I could so easily touch the stars. I know you have always loved me even when you did not understand me. I am brilliant because I am your daughter.
My little sister Courtney is sometimes wiser than me. I am profoundly grateful to reach adulthood with you as a friend and sounding board. You have always championed me, regardless of the distance between us, and I will always lean on you when I need strength. I promise that this is my last graduation.
The Azeez-Contreras-Goldblatt family tree feels more like an orchard, and I am grateful for the family members who encouraged me and cheered me on with every endeavor I chose to pursue. My life is doubly richer with the siblinghood I share with Ruwaidah Samaroo, Shavonne Deodatt, Robby Rivera, Christine Contreras, Katelyn Contreras, and Aaliyah Azeez. Thank you for being my first friends and support system. I appreciate my siblings-in-laws: Elias and Kayla, Leanne, Valerie, Max, and Gina; thank you for understanding that Jesse hit the jackpot with me and for always valuing my work. Janet Presser Goldblatt, I love you beyond words. Thank you for supporting me as your daughter and working to make sure I always felt loved.
To Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts, Robin Arzón, Baby Hair Hannah Frankson, Cody Rigsby, Jess Sims, Aditi Shah, and Terri Todd who helped me feel at home in a body that once felt foreign. They pushed me to cradle my wellness with guiding hands. I can do hard things and am now grateful for the body that gets me there. I grew tremendously through the art and guidance of Yakari Gabriel; thank you for showing me that I can be the universe’s brightest star. Thank you to the three Black women therapists who nourished my spirit and helped me find myself – Dr. Pamela Epps, Alexandria Horton, and Erica Bones. I am grateful for your guidance in making sure that I was, and am, well in an arduous process that could have robbed me of my health.
Many thanks to Dr. Himika Bhattacharya, whose pedagogy felt like an exciting invitation to reshape the boundaries of my mind. Thank you for your incisive challenges, encouragement, and reminders to ask myself who this work is for and why I chose to write it. I hear your voice, always, encouraging me, to reach for more than academia has to offer.
Thank you to Dr. Linda Carty who walked with me in every step of this journey, fed me the poetics of survival and polenta, straightened my shoulders as I reached out to grasp my power, and held me in more ways than I could have imagined. Your mentorship did not save my life, instead you taught me how to live it. Our kinship has shown me how to hold onto myself in an academic process that wanted me to bend. You are the truest definition of the word sistren.
My favorite genius fashionista, Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall, I could write a dissertation alone about the miracle of your tutelage. You laid the groundwork of my scholarship and unabashed passion for living a feminist life. I would be nowhere without your mentorship and protection. You are my favorite Gemini and troublemaker; thank you for sustaining me with my first copy of This Bridge Called My Back, our adventures, and (salacious) late night phone calls.
Thank you to my professors who inspired me outside of my discipline: To Dr. Dawn Johnson, thank you for your enduring kindness, support, and advice during my time at Syracuse. The universe blessed me by having you as my oral chair! I so appreciate Dr. Chandra Talpade Mohanty for her scholarship and constant encouragement. Thank you for showing us all how to embrace the haven of imagined communities. To both women – your advocacy and compassion are gifts that I will always hold dear. I can’t imagine making it to the end of this journey without each of your gentle affirmations and reminders that I was a scholar before I even matriculated.
To Dr. Dalia Rodriguez, my guide and protector. You were always more than an advisor and I am grateful to call you my friend. Thank you for advocating for me through bureaucracy and misogynoir. You’ve rubbed off the edges of this perpetual square and helped me run towards, not away from, my own voice. I cherish the ways you helped me find pride in my writing, especially when other academics told me my writing style wasn’t academic enough. Thank you to Isabella Rodriguez for always keeping me on my toes, shining your light into this world, and sharing your chicken nuggets. I can’t wait to vote for you when you run for President.
Maryann Barker is the most kind and generous gift I could have ever received while learning and laboring at Syracuse University. You were the glue of Cultural Foundations of Education and the advocate that helped get so many of us through to the finish line. You deserve the world and more for your constant support, kidness, and advocacy.
This project and my confidence as a professional would not be possible without Dr. Hiram Ramirez, who read every essay and draft of this dissertation and held me tremendously throughout this process. Thank you for being my twin flame, my confidante, accountability partner, book club co-captain, and listening ear as I worked my way through this project. Thank you reminding me that I am never asking for too much when it comes to friendship. I am never alone because your love and encouragement carry me in every step that I take. I am here, feet firmly planted, because you are my best friend.
Thank you to my friends and colleagues that I found along the way in Syracuse: Chelsea Bouldin, Jersey Cosantino, Easton Davis, Dr. Kirsis A Dipre, Cassaundra Guzman, Dr. Laura Jaffee, Armando Martinez, Robin Maxile, Atiya McGhee, Dr. Fatemah Moghaddam, D. Romo, Nikeeta A.T. Slade, Dr. Pamela Sertzen, Ionah M. Scully, and Claudine-Lonje A. Williams for offering kindness and encouragement throughout my journey. It is a blessing to be given flowers when you grow used to the earth being barren.
To Brittany Brathwaite, Lamees Galal, Dr. Montinique D. McEachern, Monisha Jackson, and Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodriguez, thank you for sustaining me as possibility models. Our friendships sink deep into my spirit and I remain forever in awe of your brilliance. Thank you for your courage, creativity, badassery, and trust. It is through our bonds that I learned how to nurture feminist siblinghood. You each make me believe I can change the confines of this world. I love you.
Thank you to my second family- Shinade Ramirez-Moore, I will always take my shoes off for you. The universe sent you my way when I needed a sister and I hit the lottery with your friendship. Brian Moore, my most favorite line brother, thank you for always lifting me up and for being the kindest and most fashionable creative that inspires me. I love you both and am grateful for your son, Grey Amari Moore, whose arrival earthside brought me indescribable joy and hope when I needed it most.
My mentors at the University at Buffalo and the University of Delaware - Dr. Nathan Daun-Barnett, Dr. Raechele Pope, and Dr. Margaret Sallee, I offer you centuries of gratitude for your constant encouragement, advice, and respect. My time in your classrooms and office hours fueled my passion for equitable education and service. Dr. Licinia “Lulu” Barrueco Kaliher and Cheri Skipworth made it possible for me to cross the undergraduate graduation stage. I would not be here, literally, without the mentorship and advocacy of these two amazing women. I forever respect the power of glitter and cherish the gift of activism through your examples of leadership.
I’d be remiss to not offer my love and gratitude for the students and colleagues I worked with at Agnes Scott College. I’m blessed beyond measure to call my former students my friends; thank you to Jasmine Baker, Kai Beard, Bria Carr, Daija Dennis, Alveena Jacks, Brittany Jackson, Jordan Keesler, Kimberly Lee, Anndrekía Maha, Syedha Noreenia, Rocio Ochoa, Celina Ortiz, Iman Ramadan, Acacia Salisbury, Naomi Smith-George, Ari Struddler, Dr. Maliha Taufiq, Courtney Taylor, Dr. Sharisse Victor, Diana Ivy Ward, and the Coalition of Multicultural Student Organizations. I am a better educator through our time working and learning together. Thank you’s are not enough for the deep love and encouragement I receive(d) from my colleagues Elizabeth Bagley, Kieran Flynn, Tomiko Jenkins, Dr. Elizabeth Kiss, Donna Lee, Dr. Rafa Ocasio, Dr. Na’Taki Osborne-Jelks, and Machamma Quinichett. I am indebted to the Tinkerwolves, Muses, Lions, Riveters, Sprites, and Visionaries who, in turn, taught me to engage the intellectual and social challenges of our times and threw me in the Alumnae Pond. Twice.
Dr. Kijua Sanders-McMurtry, thank you for making space for me to taste the sweetness of freedom as your co-liberator and conspirator. Thank you for holding my hand, listening, affirming, and keeping me grounded when the siren call of perfection hummed in my ears. Our relationship knows no definition or limit, and I am forever changed by our connection.
I have profound love and respect for the women I met while in El Paso – all of whom exemplify what it means to be in community. I appreciate Kenya Gonzalez and Olivia Tittle for their infectious generosity, talent, and selflessness. Thank you for making sure I felt like the most beautiful version of myself and for offering a space to be a whole person in your company. I am especially grateful for Tammy Saenz for our haphazard adventures and her unwavering belief that my work is sorely needed. I hold much love for Grecia Ilhara, whose new sisterhood has only offered me deep encouragement that I deserve everything American academia, and society, tried to teach me I didn’t.
To the indomitable Alice Malsenior Talullah Kate Walker and the effervescent Valerie Jean Boyd, I love you. Thank you for nourishing me with unabashed love and compassion. Eleven-year-old me would be astounded to know our favorite author and earthling believes in us so fiercely. I am so very lucky to have learned from the gardens of your work and hold your hand when planting my own. Valerie, I miss you dearly. Your joy emanates from every chocolate croissant and the expansive possibility that awaits when I put pen to paper. Thank you for telling me I am a writer and making sure I believe it. Alice and Valerie showed me how to live, truly, as a free woman. Thank you both for your kindness, kinship, generosity, and example.
Beyoncé, Megan THEE Stallion, Kehlani, Victoria Monét, Little Mix, Chloe x Halle, Labrinth, every song with the Diwali Riddim, and the soundtracks to Black Panther and Wakanda Forever carried me through coursework and every dissertation stage. Thank you to every piece of Black feminist art/literature/scholarship that fueled my curiosity and drive. Janet Mock has been my inspiration since I was a teenager roaming MySpace; her fierceness inspires my own courage in doing this project my way. These artists’ collective work inspired me to leverage my creative vision in the design/implementation of this study and how I choose to be present in my life.
Thank you to my husband Jesse Goldblatt for being my partner in every journey life has to offer. This doctoral process could have broken me had I not had your hand to grasp for strength. Thank you for thinking I’m the best person on this Earth and for helping me with Statistics. Thank you for never being intimidated by the fullness of my feminist imagination and the life I worked so tirelessly to carve out for myself. I love you and the three baby animals we’ve raised together – Dexter, Mowgli, and Tito – thank you for making it possible to shine as brightly as I do. In every iteration of this life, I will always choose you.
Most importantly, thank you to the sistren of this study - Oprah, Mary J. Blige, June, Jazz, Hot Girl Meg, Janelle Monae, Princess Tiana, Miriam, Sunshine, Butterfly, Dennise, Dora, Loretta Devine, Ari Lennox, Lizzo, Cleo Sol, Chlöe Bailey, Cicely Tyson, Viola Davis, Gabrielle Union, Josephine Baker, Phylicia Rashad, Queen Latifah, Diana, Cree Summer, Yara, and Queen – for the gift of your stories. Your brilliance shines like the North Star. Thank you for being my due north in this study and the exemplars of what is possible when we choose ourselves. You are magic personified ✨.
